In 2005, after 16+ years of marriage I could no longer endure the emotional abuse after trying marriage counseling where I was told that “some people just shouldn’t be married” on several occasions by the counselor and followed by finding an unsealed lawyer retainer letter in my mailbox on what was once again a day that I could not find my husband and children only to find out that I’d coincidently missed another school event that had not been made known to me.  It was the final piece to the puzzle that I’d been trying to figure out, based on questions that kept coming up such as why was he more involved with the kids, why was he secretly talking to the neighbor, why was he so willing to drop off and pick up from school, why was he now working around the yard more, why was he attending more church functions, and the list of events and questions go on.  Little did I know what I’d stumbled onto and how my reaction would soon meet the wrath of an individual who had planned every methodical step.  The letter answered my question, so I immediately contacted a local lawyer and initiated divorce proceedings to protect my children and assets or so I thought.

 As we entered into the temporary phase of our divorce, I began to see firsthand how far he would go to let me know that he didn’t appreciate my short circuiting his plan.  I heard several themes, she’s an alcoholic (only drink socially), she’s financially irresponsible (paid off all of our debt with the sale of our home), dresses provocatively (rarely show cleavage), abusive (unfounded), carries on affairs (faithful to a man who was secretly into pornography during our entire marriage).  Little did I know that I would be the one to try to be civil for our children’s sake, after a few days of temporary hearing where I was given custody of the children and ordered to go to marriage counseling (again) to make help our marriage with a court appointed counselor did I still not realize the punishment I was in for.  We attended the sessions; after several months the counselor told my husband that the damage/hurt he’d done to me was irreparable, he could do no more for us and would convey that to the court.  As we began the next phase, I moved to San Antonio with the children from the neighboring county to San Antonio, to find that my husband had now requested a jury trial to decide child custody.  A home study was immediately requested and approved.  Once again, I thought this would be impartial as we were ordered to split the cost.  The final report was taking long and wasn’t ready until the morning of our court ordered mediation, at which time I was told the study was not in my favor and my older two children were requesting to live with their father so I might as well save myself some money and sign the agreement that would be immediately drawn up not requiring me to pay child support, but would also mean I would never see my children again.  My response was to tell the lawyers present that I didn’t go to mediation to give up my children and that I wanted my day in court.

 Afterwards, on my way to pick up my children for my weekend visit from their father’s home, I was met by police for domestic violence (set up by my husband).  During this time I received a call from a friend who told me that I couldn’t give up that easy and to contact Robin Walton Brown.  He followed up by saying she would not side with me just because I was the one who she would meet first and that she would do what was right by the children but at least I would have an opportunity to challenge the 2-hour home study that would be at the heart of my jury trial.  The home study interviewer testified in court to the basis of his recommendation.  When the opposing attorney became aware that we would be contesting the results with Robin Walton Brown, she was not happy.  After a little over a week of the judge and jury hearing inflammatory testimony from numerous people who were flown in, to include video depositions, arranged by my husband, the jury of my peers recommended I be given the exclusive right to establish the residency for the children with joint custody.  One would believe that it would be over, but in my case it wasn’t, the case was drawn out for a total of almost 3-years to the tune of over $100,000, to include unsubstantiated abuse accusations to Child Protective Services followed by investigations.  When the divorce was finally granted the outcome of custody was once again challenged, at which time we requested the case be transferred into San Antonio as this is where we all were living.  The transfer was granted and over the course the next couple of years I endured abuse accusations/investigations.

Through all of this, my children were seeing Robin Walton Brown, she was very clear that she was interested in the well being of the children and I knew that she would side with them even if it meant that her testimony to the court would not be in my favor.  I never once saw her interested in anything other than the children.  To read reviews to the contrary is unfortunate and tells me that these individuals are clouded by their anger towards their former spouse or outcome and are looking for someone to blame.  I would say that that is unfortunate and shouldn’t be directed at Robin.  For instance, the opposing attorney asked during one of the many hearings if Robin was getting paid, a pretty interesting question, if not ridiculous, since everyone involved was getting paid by someone.  No one can be expected to provide a service, no matter to whom, for free.  But they should be expected to fair and impartial since children are involved.  I had friends telling me when I wanted to give up that I had to remember it was for the children that I should continue and not for me.  We’ve since moved out of state; today, thanks to Robin they are doing very well, they even ask if we can visit her someday when we’re back in San Antonio.  That in itself is testimony that I did the right thing and I was fortunate my friend who referred me to Robin was there when I thought I had nowhere to turn.  For the record, my friend did not have custody of his children, but after a court ordered psychological evaluation of both parties, he is no longer facing the many false allegations of abuse (physical, sexual, etc.) he was initially enduring.  While we may not understand the reason we are undergoing such a tumultuous time in our lives with someone we once thought would be our partner for life, it’s important to always remember the children for they will someday grow up and tell you what they saw, heard and felt and it may not be what you thought it would be so don’t set yourself up by focusing on someone else.